


You Make My World Colorful

by Icantwrite88



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Bullying, But he has a heart, F/F, Fluff, Heidi is best mom, Jared Kleinman Being an Asshole, Kinda, Larry is Larry, M/M, Random characters who exist for plot, Savage Evan, Soulmate AU, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide mention, Tags May Change, eating problems, implied suicide, like a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-04-06 21:37:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14066094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icantwrite88/pseuds/Icantwrite88
Summary: Evan Hansen’s, and practicality everyone else’s world is dull and gray. What started out as a normal day for Evan changes, when he finally meets his soulmate, but his soulmate happens to be the most hated kid in the school. Would their relationship work out?I suck at summaries





	1. Chapter 1

Today started out as a normal day, or at least a normal first day of school for Evan. He wrote his stupid letter to himself for his therapist that is actually a blown out lie. It surprises him that she didn’t catch on to the repetitiveness in each and every letter. He walked to school instead of using the bus, because there are people on the bus and they would stare at his cast and that would make him uncomfortable and he’d start sweating. He expertly avoided contact, because he’s terrible at contact and if he does happen to be in contact of anyone his hands will get sweaty, then he gets sweaty and everyone could see that he’s sweaty and that would be catastrophic.

“Hey Evan!” Evan tensed up. Who was that, what did they want with him, is he in trouble? If he’s in trouble then- “Earth to Evan, are you there?” Evan snapped out of his thoughts and looked up to the person who was speaking. It was just Alana… “I noticed you have a cast on, are you okay?”

“Y-yeah...I’m f-fine. I-“

“Oh good! You know, I’m excited for this year! Maybe I’ll meet my soulmate! Soulmates are really fascinating you know! It’s still unexplained by science, and all we know is that once you touch your soulmate, you’ll be able to see color! Isn’t that interesting?”

“I-I mean I gue-guess, b-but-“

“Wait I gotta go, bye!” She vanished into the crowd of people walking. Evan sighs. Well that was a wonderful conversation… Evan and almost everyone else has been living in a dull, gray world. To see color, you’d have to make contact with your soulmate. It's not like Evan cares about that stuff anyways. He would probably never meet his soulmate, and even if he did, who would want to love someone as anxious and disgusting like him?

“Evan, buddy!” What now? He turns around to see Jared waving at him. “Dude, what happened to your arm?”

“W-well, I f-fell out of a tree.”

“What are you, an acorn?” Jared snickered. Evan uncomfortably laughed with him. “Oh hey, Connor~” Connor Murphy continues to walk by Jared. He would tell Jared to stop because he was being rude, but then he would get angry at him, and he’d tell the whole school that he’s friends with the “most likely to shoot up the school” kid, and- “Love the school shooter chic you’re rocking Connor!” Jared yelled at the poor boy. Connor turned around and glared at Jared with cold dead eyes. “That’s so funny! Can’t you see that I’m laughing?” Connor gritted out. The hallway cleared up to where there is only him, Jared, and Connor. Evan curled in on himself and stared at the floor.

 _Dontlookatmedontlookatmedontlookatmedontlookatme_ -

“What are you laughing at?” Shit… “You think this is funny?! You’re the freak!” Connor roughly put his hands on him. Time seemed to slow as everything around him became bright. Everything was not gray anymore. And it freaked him out. Evan closed his eyes and gripped at his hair. Noise around him was muffled and quiet, and all he could hear was the sound of his uneven breaths. Someone touched his shoulders. He tried to shake them off, but it didn’t work. What the hell was happening? Someone’s… Someone’s shouting at him. With the shouting, the contact, and the brightness, Evan couldn’t take it anymore. He passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

Evan wakes up in the Nurse's office. But, everything is different. He looks down at his hands to find out they aren’t the normal grey color they were. Evan screamed. What the actual hell? “CAN YOU SHUT THE HELL UP I HAVE A HEADACHE!” Someone from behind a curtain shouted. Evan immediately stopped screaming. “S-sorry…” He mumbled. “Wait, shit… Evan?”

Should he answer? He just yelled at him to shut up, and he’s probably angry at him right now for disturbing him, and he screamed in a public area, which means he disturbed everyone, and now everyone is angry at him and soon he’ll be known as the kid who screamed in the nurse's office and he’ll get teased for it and-

The curtain opens and in all his glory, Connor Murphy was standing there, looking at him. “S-s-sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. I was the one who pushed you to the ground. I’m the one who should be saying sorry.”

“Sor-sorry…”

“I said, _don’t apologize._ ”

“...”

“...You still want to apologize, don’t you?” Evan slightly nodded. “What are you even sorry for?”

“I-I m-made you t-think I w-was laughing at you?”

“Evan…” Connor took a step forward and Evan flinched. “You’re scared of me… aren’t you?”

“N-no I’m n-n-not! I just… I am… I…”

“You are! I knew it!  I’m sorry that I’m such a fuck up. _Bye_.”

“Connor, wait.”

“What do you want Evan?” What can he say? He’s really not afraid of Connor, not at all, it’s just that they don’t even know each other. Connor is a total stranger to him. And yeah, being pushed down and be flooded with bright lights was kinda scary, but that doesn’t mean he hates Connor. So he keeps his mouth shut, like always. Connor rolls his eyes and storms out of the room. He doesn’t blame him for doing so. Who could stand to be around him? The only person who actually talks to him are his Mom and Jared, but even they are forced to be around him. Because that’s all he’ll ever be: _A burden._


	3. Chapter 3

Lunch period finally came around, where he could go to the library and finally get answers. He turns on a computer and types in Seeing bright lights and everything is different after touching someone. The top result said something about soulmates. Wait… soulmates? That would mean that he and Connor are…

Soulmates.

He found his soulmate. In the worst way possible. And now he hates him. God he’s such a fuck up… Now he got his soulmate to hate him, his soulmate. Evan opened up Microsoft word.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Today turns out not to be a good day and here’s why: You screwed up everything. You angered your soulmate, and you didn’t even have to be around them long. You embarrassed yourself in front of the whole school. You can’t do anything right. You can’t even finish a simple task right… You should’ve climbed higher. That way you wouldn’t be such a burden to everyone. And remember to finish what you started on that August day. It’ll probably be the only thing you do right.  
From your only friend, Evan Hansen._

Evan pressed print and sighed. This would just be another letter he would stuff away from his mom and give her one of the generic ones that he’d always make. “Did you write this?” Evan turned around to see Connor, holding his letter to himself. “ _Did you write this?_ ”

“I-I-I… I-It’s, I-“ Evan started to feel sweaty. “You’re shaking.”

“I-I-I-I’m sor… s-s-sorry.”

“Why would you ever write this?”

“I-I-I…”

“Let’s get out of here.” Connor grabbed Evan’s hand and dragged him towards the exit in the library. “W-wait! I…” But he and Evan were already outside.


	4. Chapter 4

Connor dragged Evan across the parking lot to a run down car. “Get in.” Evan abided to what was being said. The car smelled like smoke and… was that weed? Either way, it was kind of relaxing. Connor hopped in the front seat. He turned to look at him. “Where do you want to go?”

“I uh… W-what?” Connor sighed. “I know a place.” He started up the car. He pulled out the parking lot, and as soon as he did, he started to speed down the road. Evan braces himself against the leather seat. Connor blasted music to the point that Evan felt like his airs were going to burst. His turns and stops were sudden, making him feel like he was going to be launched out the car, without the seat belts, he might’ve had. They finally stopped. Evan felt like he was going to hurl. “Welcome to À La Mode, the best ice cream in the galaxy. I go here when I need a place to cool down.” Connor again dragged him into the store. They walked up to the counter, where a lady smiled and greeted them. “Hello Connor! Who’s that guy behind you, huh?”

“A friend.”

“Glad to see you finally bring someone over here! We need the customers.” She whispered the last part and Connor snorted. “What can I get for you?”

“The usual for me. Evan, what would you like?”

“O-oh… Y-you don’t h-have to… to o-o-order for me, I’ll be f-fine…”

“Evan, this is my treat. I don’t care.”

“B-but you h-have to pay too, and you might need that money for something, and what if it’s like something serious and could actually be used for a good cause cause I’m not a good cause because I’m that nobody kid in High School that’ll probably be forgotten in a few years and-“

“ _Evan_.” Connor grabs Evan’s shoulders. “Calm down. I’m doing this out of the goodness of my tiny, black, cold heart.”

“But-“

“B-b-b-but I want to. Now, what do you want?”

“...A plain, vanilla ice cream, the smallest size you have.”

“That’s it?”

“It’s three dollars…” Connor sighed. “You heard him.”

“That’ll be $27.00” Connor pulled out crumpled up money and handed it to the lady. She didn’t seem to mind the money’s condition, and neatly ironed it against the edge of the counter. Evan looked behind him to see someone with an impatient look in their eye. He held back the line because he didn’t want Connor to waste his money, which he did and now Connor has less money and he held back the line who wanted to get ice cream and he had to be the nuisance to ruin their day because- Connor grabbed onto his hands and dragged him to the nearest table. He pushed a small cup of ice cream toward him. “That's yours.”

“T-thank you…” They quietly ate the ice cream. Evan hated every bite he took out of it, because it was good, but Connor had to waste his money on something that doesn't matter: Him. Connor pushed around the sundae in his large cup, shifting the fruits and toppings on it. Connor dropped his fork on the table. “Can we just… start over? Like, act like everything that happened today never happened?” Evan nodded. “Okay, Hi. I’m Connor Murphy. Aka, the kid who’s “most likely to shoot up a school”.”

“E-Evan Hansen…”

“So… Tell me about yourself.”

“T-There’s nothing to say… really…”

“Then how’d you get that cast on your arm?”

“U-um… I f-fell out of a tree… You know what’s funny? When I was on the ground, I waited for someone to get me… but no one ever came…” Evan dryly laughed at his self depressing joke. “...That’s the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Sorry…”

“Well, what else?”

“I… I like n-nature.”

“Nature?”

“Y-yeah, I’m really fasci-fascinated with trees. T-they’re really cool. Like the Amelanchier or the S-Shadbush are really pretty. But my favorite has to be the Jacaranda mimosifolia, which blooms the prettiest shade of gray I’ve ever seen… at least on the internet…”

“Wow… you’re a total nerd.”

“Sorry… I was rambling… sorry.”

“Okay, Let’s make a rule. No apologizing unless it’s a valid reason.”

“Rambling is a valid r-reason…”

“No it’s not. Neither is joking around, nerding out over nature, things that aren’t your fault, or writing crappy letters about yourself.”

“O-okay… W-what do you like to do?”

“Smoke weed.”

“I-I-Isn’t that…”

“Illegal? Yeah.”

“Oh…”

“Wanna hear about this drunk guy I saw one day?”

After that hilarious story about a drunk man who ran naked yelling “The British are coming!”, they talked about what they’re interested in, things they’ll do after they get out of school, and telling each other ridiculous stories. Usually, Evan would feel uncomfortable in these sort of situations, but Connor made him feel safe. He realized that the lunch period was almost over. “C-Connor… we h-have to get back to s-school. If my mom finds out I skipped school…”

“Okay, Let’s go. If I drive fast we could make it to 6th period.” Evan gulped at the idea of Connor driving faster than he already does. They exit the store and get in the car, Evan putting on his seat belt and bracing for the insane speeds Connor drives at. “You look pale.”

  
_Yeah… I’m pale cause you drive like a maniac._

“... Evan _fucking_ Hansen… I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“I-I-I said that o-out loud? I’m s-sorry” Connor flicked him on the forehead. “What did I say about saying sorry for pointless reasons? It’s fine. I’ll drive slower.” The drive back to school was quieter, and both boys sat in silence. “We’re soulmates.” Connor mumbled under his breath. “S-soulmates…”

“This is all pretty shitty…”

“Yeah…”

“So what does this mean? For us?”

“I-I-I don’t know…”

“Look… Let’s just not be one of those people who find their soulmate and immediately want to marry each other… We don’t even know each other… And let’s keep this quiet huh?” Evan nodded. He actually liked this deal. He’s seen people instantly love each other once they found their soulmate, heck, he’s seen a guy who carries a wedding ring around him just in case he meets his soulmate. He’s glad that Connor wasn’t one of those people. He actually was nice, funny, and was smart, despite what everyone says about him. They pull up to the school, this time without Connor slamming on the brakes. “This was fun… Thank you…”

“It’s the least I could do after being an ass…”

“Let’s, do this again… I-if you want to… that is… And without me having to be all… emotional… o-or letters… or any of my issues…”

“Yeah Evan, I’ll look forward to it.” They went in through the library doors. The awkwardly waved goodbye to each other, and Connor left Evan. For the rest of the day, Connor left a smile on Evan’s face.


	5. Chapter 5

Evan decided to walk home that day. Everything looked different. He took fascination in the trees. They weren’t a shade of gray anymore. They were _colorful_. The flowers, trees, animals, everything. It’s all too beautiful. When finally got home and sat down on his couch. His own home looked different. Well, except for the couch, which always had a dark shade of gray. He checked his phone to see 24 unread messages, 23 of them from Jared. He checked his Mom’s first, which was the usual thing she sent him

_Mom: I’m not going to be home tonight. There’s money on the counter for takeout, or pizza, or whatever. I hope you had a great day at school honey ^-^_

Evan sighed. He can’t order takeout. The last time he attempted to order takeout, he didn’t speak fast enough, and the guy thought he was gone, but he wasn’t, so when he talked faster, he didn’t understand what he was saying, and it made him feel awkward, and the guy asked if this was a prank and if he was ordering or not, so Evan just hanged up and didn’t eat for the night. His Mom is never home to cook food either. She’s busy at work and her nightly classes. He doesn’t tell his mom he doesn’t eat anything fulfilling, because then she’d get worried, and Evan absolutely hates it when his mother is worried, especially for him. Evan presses Jared’s name in the phone

_1:36 Jared:[Look at this sick video](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)_

_3:40 Jared: Where are u dude? I haven’t seen u in school like, all day_

_3:50 Jared: Are you having one of those things again? Stop freaking out over small shit._

_4:10 Jared: Evvvvaaaaaaaaan_

_4:12 Jared: Evwan pawy attentwion to me OwO_

_4:16 Jared Evan? Are you dead? Duuuuuudddddeeee_

_4:20 Jared: 420 BLAZE IT_

_5:00 Jared: Did Connor kidnap you? Did you guys fuck? Are you guys about to? If so, use protection ;)_

_5:05 Jared: Evan seriously, I’m getting worried._

_5:06 Jared: I need you for my car insurance dude! You can’t be dead!_

_5:07 Jared: Please?_

_5:08 Jared: Are you angry at me?_

_5:09 Jared: I’m sorry._

_5:10: Jared: I GOT HIGH AND ITS UR FAULT_

_5:11 Jared: Evan… I miss you…_

_5:12 Jared: I love weed_

_5:13 Jared: it’s good_

_5:14 Jared: Michael hooked me up with some_

_5:15 Jared: I’m hella high_

_5:15 Jared: Just kidding ;)_

_5:16: Jared: I’m sorry if I angered you…_

_5: 17 Jared: Hello?_

_5:18 Jared: Evan?_

Evan also took notice of the 5 missed phone calls from him. That’s when something clicked in his head, he was supposed to be dropped off my Jared… Shit.

_5:26 Evan: I’m sory Jared thar I didnt calk u bacl_

_5:27: Jared: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?_

_5:28 Evan: I walkes homr_

_5:29 Jared: Dude… I need my car insurance asshole_

_5:30 Evan: Im sorrt_

_5:31 Jared: Yeah, I fucking believe you Evan_

_5:32 Evan: Im sorrf_

Jared read the text, but didn’t answer back. His hands shook with fear of losing his only friend, or if he was even considered a friend. They were family friends. That wasn’t like having an actual friend. They’re stuck together. Jared never actually liked him in the first place… He was just stuck with him, just how everyone else is, just like how his dad was… _stuck_. With a failure. Someone who has to freak it once someone tries to have an actual conversation with them. Someone who stutters, someone who can’t even… can’t even…

Tears. He felt tears coming down his cheek. Great. Wonderful. Add to the list that he’s such a crybaby. He willed for the tears to go away, but more kept on coming. Evan unwillingly went upstairs to his bedroom, surrounded himself in blankets and cried himself to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Connor Murphy never thought he would ever meet his soulmate. He never thought he would ever live to see his soulmate. But here he was now, thinking about Evan Hansen, his soulmate. Evan shy, always anxious, always apologizing. He has a obsession with the color “blue”, something he found out by his clothes and his favorite tree, the color he got from the Internet. He’s a few inches taller than him, but he’s always hunched down. He was also a total nerd.

He’s nice… which is why he hated the fact that they were soulmates. He didn’t deserve someone like him. He’s just some fucked up kid who’s “most likely to shoot up the school”. But something inside him urged him to get closer to Evan. Maybe it was some weird soulmate bullshit…

The day Connor found his soulmate was the day he was supposed to commit suicide. He had it planned out too, the abandoned park where no one could find him, the pain medication Larry uses, even the song he’ll listen to while he’s dying. He wanted to go to school one last time, say goodbye to that hellhole. Then he pushed Evan, and everything around him became brighter. His world became colorful.

So now… he can’t leave his soulmate. It would tear his heart to leave his soulmate, especially someone like Evan. He had to stay here even if it hurts him. He loves Evan… Wait, what the fuck is he thinking? He doesn’t love Evan, he doesn’t even know the guy! And who gives a fuck that he’s gone anyways! If anything, Evan should be ecstatic that he’s dead! But that same annoying voice in his head says he can’t.

There was a knock on the frame of the door. His parents took off his door, because of “the incident”, which is why there is a hole in the wall. Zoe came into the room with a disappointed look on her face. “Mom said to come down for diner.” Connor nodded and continued to stare at the ceiling. “Why did you push that guy down?”

“For noneya…”

“What?”

“None ya business. Now get out.”

“It wasn’t right for you to push him if he didn’t do anything.”

“I know… get out.”

“You should apologize.”

“I did, _get out._ ” Zoe stood there for a few minutes, then left the room. He wishes he could make right to her, she doesn’t need him ruining her life. He wishes it could go back to the way it was, where is was Zoe and Connor, partners in crime. Where they would run around the playground yelling they were the king of the park. Where they would get ice cream, and fly kites, and do all sorts of sibling stuff.

Connor groaned and got up from his bed. He slowly walked down the stairs to the dining room, where some disgusting lasagna was on plates. Larry was there too… great. Connor sat down and immediately started to eat. The quicker he ate, the sooner he could go back to his room. His mom smiled at him. “You really like the food today huh?” Connor shrugged and continued to eat. The lasagna was bland, and tasted weird, but there was nothing he could do about it. “So Connor, how was your first day of school?” Larry asked, not even lifting his eyes off the plate. “It was okay…”

“Just okay?”

“Yeah, It was fine.”

“Well… what did you do?” Connor thought about telling them about Evan, and going out for ice cream at À La Mode, but decided not to. “Nothing much.” He mumbled.

“You’ve got to be able to say something.”

“Well I could tell you if nothing eventful happened.” Connor raised his voice, regretting it when Zoe shrunk down into her seat. “Either way, school was okay, end of story.”

“Young man, watch your tone.” Connor rolled his eyes and stuffed another piece of lasagna into his mouth. “So Zoe, how was your day at school?” His mom tried to change the subject. “It was great, actually. I saw Alanna again. I also found out how to play this part of a song on my guitar. So yeah, good day.”

“That’s great Zoe!”

“It’s too bad Connor can’t say something like that…” Larry mumbled. Connor finished the last of his lasagna. He immediately got up and put his plate in the kitchen. He wasn’t going to go into one of these conversations again. He ran upstairs and threw himself onto the bed.

Connor closed his eyes. Hopefully tomorrow he gets to see Evan… 


	7. Chapter 7

Evan woke up and immediately felt like going back to bed. He didn’t want to go to school that day. Mostly because of three reasons.

1: He’s tired

2: His anxiety will make his day the equivalent to what it’s like to be in hell.

3: Connor…

He liked Connor, or at least the part of Connor he saw at the ice cream store. He’s funny, and nice, and as much as Evan doesn’t want to admit it, handsome. Really, really, handsome. Absolutely stunning…

Evan felt his face burn up. What was he thinking? He can’t be crushing on a boy he just met the other day! That’s… that’s crazy… _right?_ Maybe it’s the fact that they are soulmates. He heard that soulmates, besides being able to see color, feels insane amounts of attraction for them, even if they don’t know each other.

Which sucked, Evan thought. “Honey, it’s time to get up!” He heard his mom call out from the other side of the door. Evan groaned and practically fell off the bed. “Are you okay?”

“M’fine…” He mumbled into the bed sheets he was tangled up into. Evan slowly got up from his bed and groggily made his way downstairs, where his mom was cooking breakfast. His mom looked different as well. She had blonde hair with a few noticeable grey strands in it. She had light brown eyes, which before Evan could see color, he thought they were the same color as his… he guessed not…  
“Good Morning Evan! I want to hear all about your first day of school!” She chirped. “Oh…  o-okay…”

“So… Made any new friends?” His mom placed pancakes and scrambled eggs in front of him. “I-I met one…”

“Really now?” He could already sense the proudness in her voice. “What is their name? Is it a girl? Is she cute?”

“M-MOM!”

“I’m joking around with you. But seriously, what’s their name?”

“Um… C-Connor M-M-Murphy…”

“You should invite him to diner someday! I’d love to meet your friends!”

“Okay Mom…”

“I’m so proud of you.” She smiled at him and Evan awkwardly smiled back. His mom didn’t need to know that they were soulmates. He didn’t know if his mom was okay with him finding his soulmate, who also happens to be a guy. What would she say? How would she react? Jared’s parents are also very homophobic, and so is Jared. If Jared found out about them being soulmates, it could be the end of his dysfunctional life. After appeasing to his mother about his nonexistent social life, Evan rushed out the house.

The drive to school was chaotic. On the one day he decided to be a normal teenager and take the school bus, it was crowded, because the bus driver had the smart idea to pick up students from two routes. And that route had to be Connor Murphy’s route. Evan hunched up in his seat near the window, hoping that no one sits next to him. Life doesn’t like Evan, so someone did eventually say next to him.

Evan tightly gripped onto his backpack. What if he was sitting next to someone who was popular? What if they bullied other people? What if it was Rich Goranski? “Hey Evan…” And now said person knows his name, though he doesn’t know him. Were they in the same class? Did he stalk him? Was he sitting next to a stalker? Hands grabbed ahold of his arms. Evan felt like his heart stopped right there. He knew he should have taken his pills today… “Evan, it’s me, Connor.”

Evan laid his eyes on Connor who looked… concerned? That’s weird… why would someone be concerned over anxious Evan, especially Connor Murphy. “H-h-h-hi Con-Connor…” Evan stuttered, cringing at how stupid he sounded. “Dude…”

“S-s-sorry…”

“What did I say about saying sorry for no reason?”

“But I freaked out of nowhere and that must’ve been weird and now you think I’m weird cause I am weird and now this whole situation is weird and awkward and-“

“Hey… no it’s not. I don’t think you’re weird Evan. Just… Anxious.”

“Sorry…”

“Being anxious doesn’t mean you say sorry for it.”

“It’s annoying…”

“You know what’s annoying? Jared Kleiman.” Evan dryly laughed. The drive there was a bit more comfortable, with Connor there and all. They didn’t talk much, but it was a much more nicer experience. Together, they walked into the school. “Evan?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Do you want to come over? To my house? My parents aren’t going to be there, and Zoe is just going to be in her room, so it should be fine.”

“I-I gotta c-check with my m-mom first…”

“That’s okay…” They stood there awkwardly, Evan picked at his cast while Connor stuffed his hand into his pockets. “Unlock your phone.”

“Wh- why?”

“Just do it Hansen…” Evan fumbled for his phone and put it in Connor’s hands. Connor typed in something, and handed it back to him. “That’s my phone number.”

“O-oh…” This was the first phone number that he was given by someone who is not his mother or Jared’s family. “T-Thank you!” Evan smiled at Connor with the best smile he has. The warning bell rings. “I have to go…”

“Yeah, I get it. See you later Hansen.”

“Y-yeah…” Both boys walked their separate ways.


	8. Chapter 8

Evan brushed his thumb against his phone screen. He has a friend to talk to now. Evan felt giddy about his maybe new friend? Are they friends now? Only friends when out for ice cream and gave each other their phone number, so yeah. Friends. “EVAN!” He automatically puts his in front of himself, hoping that it would protect him from the unknown assailant. “Evan, calm the fuck down. It’s me, the one and only Jared Kleiman.”

Evan opens one eye to see Jared in not a happy mode. That automatically means tons of fun already. “H-h-hi J-Jared…”

“You have so much to explain to me in class.”

“B-b-b-but what a-about-“

“Mr. Rickinson is a bitch and honestly anything you stutter out is way more interesting than what he has to say.” Jared pulls on his ear and drags him into the classroom. The both of them (Mostly Jared) excuses themselves for being tardy. Jared made up the excuse that they were lost in the hallway. Mr. Rickinson believed them, though they were in senior year, which honestly didn’t make sense. While Mr. Rickinson was talking about things they would be learning in class, Jared turned to Evan from his seat. “What were you doing talking to Connor Murphy?” Jared angrily whispered. “W-we exchanged p-phone numbers… nothing big…”

“Nothing big!”

“Jared Kleinman, please be quiet.” The classroom snickers at Jared’s outburst.

“Y-yeah…”

“Connor fucking Murphy gave you his phone number and it’s ‘n-not a-a-a big d-d-deal” Jared rolled his eyes. “Also what the fuck happened on Monday. One moment you’re fine, the next moment you are passed out on the floor and Connor is screaming.”

“I… I-I don’t know… guess I j-just… panicked.”

“Typical l… Also explain to me how do you pass out in the hallway out of nowhere.”

“U-um… I-I d-don’t know…?”

“You’re hopeless Evan.” Jared turned back around and scribbled things on his desk. Well that went well… at least it wasn’t like it ended up in a fight or something… For Jared, this is the mildest reaction he could get. He expected to get yelled at or something, but he didn’t, which should be a good thing, but Evan couldn’t shake the feeling that it might be bad.

The day went by, and it was already 5th period, his lunch period. Evan walked into the library, and sat down at one of the computer desks.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Today was an okay day. You didn’t have a breakdown, Jared isn’t as angry as you thought he would be, and you have Connor Murphy’s phone number, which is probably the only other phone number you’ll ever get besides Jared, your Mother, and the pizza guy. Don’t screw it up.  
Sincerely, Your Bestest Friend_

Evan sighed and pressed print. Another scraped letter for the collection. He walked over to where the printers were to see Connor Murphy, reading his letter, again. “Ummm C-C-Connor…?”

“You really have to stop printing your work in the school library for all to see. I could’ve been Richard Goranski.”

“Y-yeah… b-but I don’t h-have a pri-printer at home…”

“Why do you even write these anyways?”

“Th-therapy…”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, they m-most definitely suck.” Connor smirks. “That’s what she said.” Evan blushed and looked down at the ground. Connor starts to laugh at him. The small voice in Evan’s brain says, “He’s laughing at you. He thinks you’re a freak. You are a freak.” But his mind is distracted by Connor’s laugh. It wasn’t fake or forced. It was a real genuine laugh. Connor ran his hands through his hair. He closed his eyes, and his mouth curled up into a smile. His chest heaved up and down as he laughed.

He has a beautiful laugh…

“I uh… What?”

“W-what?”

“Y-you said something out loud… about my laugh…”

“I-I-I s-said th-th-that outl-loud?!”

“Well, yeah!”

“OhmygoshIamsosorryIshouldveneversaidanythingthatmustvebeensoembarssingandweirdwhywouldIsaythat-“

“Itsfineactuallyjustalittlesurprisingthatsallyoudonthavetoapologizeandthankyounoonehassaidthataboutmeand-“

“SHHHHHHHH!” The librarian glared at them from her desk. She grumbled something about “kids these days” and went back to reading a very questionable book. “Look, it’s really fine.”

“Its weird…”

“It’s okay. Plus I hardly get any compliments, so thank you.” They stared at each other. Connor’s dark brown eyes looking at his bright blue eyes. Evan fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, while Connor picked at his sweater sleeves. “Do you wanna come over to my house tomorrow? I know that sounds weird but-”

“No, no it’s fine! I have to ask m-my mom first.”

“Okay.”

“O-Okay.” The bell rings and the two looked st each other. “I-I got-gotta go…”

“Yeah, see you later Hansen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a tumblr. Spam me with things at crustyboi88.tumblr.com. Also be prepared for random shitposts from time to time


	9. Chapter 9

Evan hovered his finger over Connor’s contact. He knew that he was going over to his house tomorrow, but he didn’t know at what time, and who’s dropping him off, or where exactly is Connor’s house. He should just ask. He had his number, after all…

_3:43 Evan: Hey_

_He waited nervously for Connor to respond. What if he comes off as creepy? You just got someone’s phone number and as soon as you got home, you start texting them? Is that creepy? Is it weird? If Connor thinks that weird then he’ll hate him, and then they wouldn’t be friends anymore and-_

_The phone buzzed and Evan nearly dropped his phone._

_3:45 Connor: Hey._

_3:48 Evan: I was wonsering where yoi liverd? That may sound worrd, but you told me to come over to your shouse today and i dont knowe where you live and if i should come over or you coame pick me up or something…_

_3:48 Connor: I’ll pick you up. Tell me your address._

_3:49 Connor: Also it’s not weird, it’s a valid question._

_3:51 Connor: *wondering_  
*you  
*lived  
*worried  
*house  
*don’t  
*know  
*come

_3:52 Connor: Just do you know, I’m a grammar nerd, misspellings and incorrect grammar piss me off._

_3:53 Evan: Sorru_

_3:53 Connor: *Sorry  
And it’s fine dude. I mean, I don’t get that pissed…_

_3:54 Evan: Okay… My address is 54 Stein Street._

_3:54 Connor: Okay._

_3:55 Evan: Alright._

_3:55 Connor: So Hansen… what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?_

_3:56 Evan: What?_

_3:56 Connor: Just answer the question._

_3:58 Evan: Strawberry I guess… Especially with sprinkles and cherry cream. Now I’ll just eat a plain vanilla. It’s cheap and it’s actually not all that bad._

_4:00 Connor: Why didn’t you get that instead of vanilla ice cream?_

_4:01 Evan: Cause it’s cheap._

_4:02 Connor: Dude… Next time get what you like. Not stupid vanilla fucking ice cream._

_4:03 Evan: Okay._

_4:04 Connor: Damn, now I’m craving some ice cream… Too bad we only have those stupid gluten free ice cream._

_4:04 Evan: Those exist?_

_4:05 Connor: You’d be surprised how much things you can make gluten free. And how disgusting it could taste…_

_4:06 Evan: I wouldn’t know, Pizza is kind of my diet at this point._

_4:06 Connor: Oh you lucky soul. I’d kill for a quality pizza._

_4:09 Connor: Wait, shit. I got to go, Larry and my mom came home. I’d rather they not yell at me today. See you later Hansen._

_4:10 Evan: Bye Connor!_

The boy felt giddy and he felt like floating. For some reason, he felt safe with Connor. He made less mistakes (mostly because Connor corrected him a lot), and they had an actual conversation, about food, but it was conversation nonetheless. He can’t wait to see Connor tomorrow. It’s probably the first time he was excited for tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 10

Evan shoved cereal into his mouth. He bathed, brushed his teeth, combed his almost always messy hair, got dressed, and looked presentable, or somewhat presentable, like I’m not just going to the nearest Walgreens presentable, but I’m going to casually hang out with my friends presentable. “You’re awfully chipper today.” His mom, who probably loved seeing him like this, smiled from the other side of the counter. He hummed with agreement. “So… what’s the occasion?”

“I’m going over to a friends house.”

“Oh? That’s wonderful news! Who’s house is it?”

“Connor’s…”

“Well have fun sweetheart! I gotta-“

“Take a shift. I know mom…”

“I’m sorry that I’m always working and-“

“You’ll make it up to me? Yeah, you always do… Have a good day at work mom.” She frowned. He knows she’s trying to be there for him, but it’s still tough to stay at home, alone. No diner waiting for him when he gets home, no mother to yell at him when his chores aren’t done. Just sitting there doing nothing and eating whatever is in the fridge. It’s really really lonely.

A few minutes later, His left Evan alone for the millionth time. Evan stared at the clock. Wait… He didn't ask Connor which time he was going to be picked up. Maybe he wasn’t getting picked up… Maybe it was all some funny joke and the next day he goes to school Connor would say “Haha! This was all a prank! We never were friends and I hate you as a soulmate!”. He really wishes that wouldn’t be the case… Evan tapped on his knee. The ticking noise making his anxiety go through the roof.

The doorbell rings. Evan would open the door, if his mind wasn’t telling him that something dangerous was behind it. Plus Evan is terrible at conversations. He’d make a fool out of himself. He sat in silence and waited for the person to leave.The doorbell rang again. Persistent… He wasn’t going to answer, if that’s what that person was thinking. He’s not answering the door to some potential serial killer. “EVAN I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU’RE HOME.” Connor? Shit… Evan ran to the door, he tripped on air. Shit… He stumbled to get up and hastily opened the door.

Connor had on the same black sweater that he’d usually have on. He looked annoyed. He most definitely hated him. “I’mreallysorryIthoughtyouweresomereligouspersonoraserialkillernotthatyouarebutIhateansweringthedoorand-“

He takes a breath.

“Illmakeafooloutofmyselfandmakeeverythinawkwardwhichiswhatimdoingrightnowandimsorry!” Evan closed his eyes waiting for Connor to punch him or yell at him. “Evan I don’t care, just get in the fucking car.” Evan scrambled into the black Jeep in his driveway. The car smelled… weird… it made him very sleepy though. Connor hopped into the driver's seat. “You could sit in the front you know.”

“Y-yeah, but it’s your c-car…”

“And I say you can sit in the front seat… if you want to, that is.”

“No… I-it’s okay…”

“Alright…” The drive there is smooth, and Connor NOT driving faster than the speed limit. “Hey is it okay if I put in some music?” Evan nodded. “... You do understand that I’m driving and can’t see you, right?”

“S-sorry…”

“Stop apologizing. And your lucky I’m such a irresponsible driver.” He slowly turned up the music. A nice song with an upbeat beat in the background. “Sipping Tropicana. In coconut cabana. Floating on Flamingos. Smoking all the man-“

“THATS ENOUGH MUSIC FOR NOW!” Connor screeches and turns off the music. Evan confusingly looked at Connor. Why turn off the music. It was nice. A pretty shade of red tinted Connor’s ears. “W-why’d you turn off the music?”

“Because I did! End of story!”

“But-“

“End of story!” Evan shrugged and took a look out the window. They were in the richer part of the neighborhood, he could tell. The houses were 3 stories, all had beautiful spacious lawns with pretty decorations. They pull up to a two story house. It was big and pretty, and well kept, things that his house isn’t. “We’re here.”

“This really is your house?” Evan says as he gets out of Connor’s car. “Are you saying it’s not?”

“N-no! It’s j-just that it’s really fancy…”

“That’s what happens when your father is the CEO of a huge company. They make like… cooking products? Either way he’s on a business trip so we won’t see him.”

“Oh…” Evan frowns. It must get really lonely… When his dad goes away and doesn’t come back until a week later. At least he has a dad… And he’s sure Connor has a mom too. He saw her at Zoe’s concerts before. At least he has people who are still there to talk to. At least he’s not alone. Evan shouldn’t be thinking this, that’s Connor’s life, stop being selfish. “What’s with that look?”

“Nothing… nothing of i-importance…”

“Liar.”

“Sorry…” Evan whispers. Connor rolled his eyes and rummaged his pocket for most likely his keys. He holds the door open for Evan. It takes a few seconds and some hinting for him to enter the house. The home was large. It had fancy paintings and sculptures and rugs, beautiful brown hardwood floors. “It’s beautiful.” Evan mumbled to himself. “It’s hell.” Connor took ahold of Evan’s hand and led him up the stairs. They walk down the hallway that had an elaborate rug on the floor. They entered a room that didn’t have a door, a contrast to the beautiful house.

There’s a noticeable crater in the wall, the paint around the area chipping off. The bed wasn’t made, and one single pillow laid there. There was a dresser, a closet which also was missing a door, and what looked like a file cabinet. “Mi casa es su casa… Also don’t look through my file cabinet. Or under my bed. Or in my closet.”

“O-okay…” Evan took a seat on the floor. He noticed the room smells just like Connor’s car. Weird… Connor went through his closet and got two rolled up pieces of tissue and a lighter. He puts one of them in his face. “Want a hit?”

“W-What is that?”

“Weed. What’s it look like?” Connor mumbles as he lights the end of the tissue. “Smo-Smoking I-is b-b-bad…”

“You sound like my mom…”

“It’s t-true! It damages the lungs!”

“Okay Mom.” Connor smirks. He pushes the “weed” out of his face. “Is that why your car smells weird?”

“One, it doesn’t smell weird, it smells like weed. Two, it smells like weed.”

“T-t-t-hats danger-ou-ous!”

“I-I-I d-don’t care!”

“C-CONNOR!” Connor laughed at Evan. It really was dangerous! Doesn’t that stuff make you more relax or something? He can’t have his soulmate getting hurt over something as stupid as that! “Calm your tits Evan, I’m alive.” Evan pouts. Connor laughs even more. Evan didn’t find this hilarious. “As my soulmate, you should take more care of yourself… Honestly Connor…” Connor suddenly stops laughing and coughing. He looked at him incredulously. What, did he say something weird? “E-Evan?”

“Yeah?”

“You do realize what you said… r-right?”

“Yeah, I said as my soulmate you should take… better… care of yourself… ohmygod.” Evan was sure he was blushing now. How could he say something like that? You don’t say things like that. If Connor didn’t hate him before, he hates him now. “I’m so so-“

“Don’t apologize! It’s fine… I mean, it’s like an urge or something when you’re around your soulmate, right? I uh… searched it up… Because it… happens to me to…” They sat in silence. “Why don’t we go watch some sitcoms in the living room, huh?” Evan quickly nodded. Anything to get them out of this awkward situation…

They headed towards the living room, where a lady sat on the couch knitting something. “Connor?”

“Mom…” Connor’s Mom made an audible gasp. “Is that your friend?” Connor shrugged. Connor’s mom got up and shook his hand. “My name is Cynthia, I’m Connor’s mom! It’s wonderful to meet you!”

“Oh… W-Wonderful to m-eet you too…”

“Connor doesn’t really make a lot of friends, so it’s a huge surprise when he has someone over.” She whispered into his ear. “I should go start on diner then! I’ll make some of my famous lasagna!” She disappeared into what seemed the kitchen. “I thought you had book club mom!” Connor shouted. “Oh, we ended early!” Connor gritted his teeth. “Oh yeah, your father is coming home today to. He should be back in about an hour. His business trip ended early too!” Connor outwardly groaned. Evan shuffled in his place. “You know what, we’ll watch sitcoms till like 12:30, and then I’m taking you home. You do not want to have dinner with my family, trust me on that.” Evan nodded.

The two sat down on the couch and started to binge watch The Office. Eventually, Connor wrapped his arm around Evan. Instead of flinching away, he puts his head on Connor’s shoulder. He looks up at Connor. His attention was entirely on the screen, his brown eyes lighting up from the screen. He didn’t even notice when he fell asleep.

Evan woke up to the sound of a door opening. He noticed that him and Connor were cuddling with each other and he blushed. Connor was sleeping. He snored quietly at his arm pulled Evan closer. He jumped when a man entered the living room. “Who are you?”

“E-Evan Hans-sen sir…”

“You’re Connor’s friend?” Evan nodded. “Well then, why don’t you join us for dinner?”

“I don’t know I-if I shou-“

“Please?” Evan stayed silent. Connor told him not to have dinner with them, but he couldn’t just say no to the man that was most likely his father. They kind of look the same too… The man walks upstairs leaving him and Connor alone again. Evan nudged Connor hoping he would wake up. “5 more minutes…”

“C-Connor?”

“Mmh?”

“Um… y-your Dad is home…”

“...Aw fuck.” Connor got up and stretched. “He asked you to join us for dinner didn’t he?” Evan but his lip. “And you didn’t say no, didn’t you?”

“S-sorry…” Connor sighed. “Dinner’s Ready!” Connor’s Mom shouted from another room. “Shit… Evan.” He grips Evan’s shoulders. “Get ready to step into hell. This is your last chance to get the fuck out of here.”

“I-It can’t be t-that bad… right?”

“Whatever Hansen…” Connor grabbed ahold of Evan’s hand and dragged him into a nice humble dining room. Zoe, Mrs. Murphy, and Mr. Murphy sat across the table. Connor took a seat at the other side of the table. Evan took a seat next to Connor, though there is a plate of food next to Zoe. “You should really sit next to me.” Zoe looks at him sympathetically. “N-no thanks…”

“Your funeral…” She pushes the plate towards him. They are in silence. He noticed everyone had their eyes on their plate except Mrs. Murphy. “So… Evan. How did you and Connor meet?” Larry asked, his eyes not lifting from the plate. “U-um school… W-we have the, the same classes to-together…”

“Hmm… Into any after school activities?”

“N-not really… Mo-most of t-the time I have t-therapy after school… P-plus I’m not creative… or s-strong so…”

“But do you play sports?”

“No…”

“Men your age should be playing sports.” Evan tensed up. He’s just like… Evan mentally shook his head. He was not going to breakdown in front of Connor’s family. Not today… “So, any other hobbies you like to do?”

“I-I mean… I don’t know? Like… I like n-nature. I like trees. T-they’re really cool once you learn… more about… them… y-yeah…”

“Oh so you hike?”

“W-Well… not really… My M- we never h-have the time…”

“I swear, men these days. Busy drawing or dancing, or doing stupid skating. You know, in my day, boys used to be rough and manly. We used to fight and do sports and get all the ladies. Ain’t that grand? It’s-“

“Dad…” Connor growled out warningly. “Terrible! You know what Connor used to want to be? One of those pansy ice skaters who dressed up in sparkles and bright colors. Honestly what a wa-“

“Stop.” Evan stood up. Not having a breakdown at the Murphy’s household has thrown out the window. “You have no right to say what a man can or cannot do. Okay, not all of us are this ‘Manly Man’ that society wants us to be. Girls don’t have to be girlish and like dresses or dolls either. So what if I like to draw? So what if I like flowers and planting? So what if I feel the need to hang around with girls my age? So what if Connor likes ice skating. That’s us and if you don’t like it, then you’re just going to have to deal with it. I don’t like where this conversation is going, and I would like for you to stop.” The table fell silent. Suddenly, both Zoe and Connor started to applaud him. Evan blushed. Did he really say all of that out loud?

Connor started to laugh too “Larry… You got the shy kid to roast you!” Connor put his hands in his hair. “I gotta say, that was a wonderful speech!” Zoe joined in. Mr and Mrs. Murphy seemed utterly speechless. “I-I’m sorry I-“

“Please, don’t apologize!” Connor and Zoe said that the same time. Connor’s parents most definitely hat him. Why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut? Evan picked at his cast. He’ll probably never be able to come back here again. Mr. Murphy would forever hate him and ridicule him just like he did and- “That’s enough diner for now. Come on Evan, let me drop you home.” Evan sighed of relief. He headed towards the living room, where the front door was closest. Him and Connor stepped outside and entered Connor’s car. “Can I just say, that that was badass and I respect you so much right now?”

“W-why? I yelled a-at y-y-your dad!”

“Yeah, well we can all agree he is a prick. Plus I don’t care if his feelings are hurt…”

“Y-your mom cares…”

“My mother is trapped in a marriage she is afraid to get out of for her, Larry, and me and Zoe’s stakes. She thinks we need a father figure in our lives, but that father ends up making us miserable…”

“Yeah… I can relate to that.”

“Wanna tal-“

“No.”

“M’kay…” The drive back home was more tense than the last one. Evan royally screwed up. He can’t believe he let his emotions get out of check because of stupid memories and stupid rants. All of this was stupid. He shouldn’t have said yes to go over to Connor’s house. Not if he knew it was going to be like that. “Hey, Evan?”

“Yeah?” Evan didn’t mean to make his voice sound as angry as it was, but he was too stressed and tired to care. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“It’s fine, Connor…”

“Let me make it up to you. Do you have anything to do tomorrow?”

“No…?”

“Good. I’ll pick you up, if that’s okay. You’ll like this, trust me.”

“Okay…” They pulled up to Evan’s house. His mom’s car was already in the driveway. Great, now he’s going to have to make up some half truth, half lie for her. Evan got out of the car. “See you tomorrow Hansen. I’ll pick you up at… 7:00.”

“Why 7:00? That’s late…”

“Please?”

“...Fine. B-but can we get ice cream f-from that ice cream place?”

“Of course we fucking can.”

“Alright… Bye Connor!”

“Later Hansen.” Connor smiled at Evan before pulling off. Well, at least today wasn’t as much as a total utter failure. He got to see Connor smile.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of angst in this one. Warning, there is bullying in this chapter and someone getting beat up, so if that triggers something then don’t read the beginning. Skip to where Connor’s POV starts.

Evan’s day started out fine. He got up for school on time, ate breakfast, got on the bus, and headed for school. That was until two boys decided to take a seat near him. Evan usually wouldn’t take mind of that, he’d just try to ignore the fact that his personal space is being evaded. His day took a turn for the worst when he heard them talking. “I heard that Evan Hansen is Connor Murphy’s new slut.”

“You think he paid him for it?”

“Well why don’t we ask him?” They turn to Evan. Evan tries to make himself as small as possible. “So Evan, how much did Connor Murphy pay for a quick fuck?” Evan stayed silent hoping they would leave. One of the boys pushed him. “Come on, you can tell us! Or you can tell the whole bus!”

_No… nonono please don’t!_

“Hey guys Evan Hansen is Connor Murphy’s little slut!” He can hear people laughing and whispering about it. Thankfully, the bus arrived at school and the boys left the bus. Evan quickly got off the bus, and hoped that the torture was over, but it wasn’t. As soon as he entered the school, the hallway fell silent. There were whispers and giggles from people there. The words “freak, loser, slut, monster.” were being thrown around.

He walked faster to his locker. When he saw his locker, he put a hand over his mouth. Post-Its covered his locker. _“You’re such a freak!”_

_“Loser!”_

_“Slut!”_

_“Monster!”_

_“Nobody even likes you.”_

_“You don’t exist.”_

_ “Just die.” _

Evan tried really hard not to cry. Suddenly he was pushed into the locker. “Hey Evan~ If I pay you will you give me some of that too?” Evan shook his head, but he boy didn’t let go. “Awww what a faithful little slut! Let’s see if you’ll be saying the same thing when I beat the shit out of you. Maybe even break your arm a little more.” Evan panicked. He couldn’t afford to get hurt… His mom… Oh god his mom… “P-P-P-Plea-se do-don’t d-d-don’t do thi-his!” The boy just grinned at him and shoved him into the locker.

The boy kicked him in the groin, making Evan fall over, -and fell on his broken arm. A sharp pain came from it, and Evan tried to protect it with his good arm, but it was no use. He was punched in the face and kicked in the gut over and over again. Then he grinded his foot into his broken arm, making Evan yell out in pain. Everything became blurry. He couldn’t tell if that was because he was falling unconscious, or his tears blurred his vision.

He heard someone yelling, his blurred vision picking up someone dragging the boy away. He blinked once to see Connor up close to him. He was saying something, but Evan couldn’t make it out. He was feeling incredibly drowsy. He struggled to keep his eyes opened. Maybe sleeping it off will make him feel better and numb the pain.

POV CHANGE

Connor sat near Evan. He was still breathing. He knows that. But he was hurt. He had a black eye, couldn’t even focus on him, bruises littered his body. A crowd of people whispered and stared at him and Evan. That asshole Eliot Canny, the same guy who hurt Evan, the same guy who harasses him all the time, was in the floor with a black eye of his own. He didn’t care if he was going to get suspended, he just needed to make sure his soulmate was safe. “Call an ambulance… I don’t care what you think of me, or what you think I did, just call an ambulance… I don’t have my phone on me please…” The crowd continues to whisper, not doing anything.

Connor dryly laughs. “Expected… why did I even ask? Why would I think you would even attempt to get help? My so- friend is on the ground unconscious and none of you even attempt to help. Why? Cause I’m the school’s freak. The unhinged one. The, hah, ‘most likely to shoot up the school’. Well let me tell you all this,” Connor stands up, refusing to lay an eye on anyone in the crowd. “You just stood there and watched someone get beat up. The quiet kid in the classroom who never did anything to you, and most likely ever will. And all of you just watched and gossiped, and whispered while it happened. Nobody even tried to get help… I hope that sits well with you. I hope you’re proud of yourselves.”

Connor carefully picks up Evan bridal style and walks towards the Nurse’s office. He was stopped by a teacher who was ready to yell at him for “hurting him”. Connor calmly explains the situation, and the teacher calls an ambulance. He thanks her, at least someone’s willing to help…

After a few minutes of sitting in the nurse’s office (After he begged the nurse to let him stay by Evan), the ambulance came. They took Evan and Connor followed. “You can’t get inside the ambulance son,” One of paramedics held out a hand to him. “Please you gotta let me in! I need to make sure he’s okay!”

“He’ll be fine, just go back in the school.”

“I’m… I’m his soulmate, please…”

“...What color is the truck?”

“Red. And like a bit of blue? It’s flashing red and blue, I see color, just let me in!”

“Fine.” Connor sighed of relief and got in the ambulance. The paramedics were checking Evan, making sure he was okay, one of them said something about some woman named Heidi, whoever the fuck that is. The drive to the hospital was short, thank god for that. They rushed out the ambulance and entered the hospital. Connor hated hospitals, cause that’s where he finds himself most of the time… He sees a worried middle aged woman sitting go towards Evan. She had nurse attire on, blond hair, and she looked as if she was crying. She looks towards Connor, and her worried demeanor melts away to a more stern one.

She walks towards him. Shit… “Are you the person who did this to my baby boy?” She asks him. So this is Evan’s mom. She probably thinks he’s some weird kid who followed her son to the hospital. No, no of course not… I’m Connor Murphy, his friend. We’re… friends.” Out of nowhere she hugs him. “Thank you for being there for him.”

“Uh… sure…”

“So you’re the Connor Murphy my son ever so rarely mentions?”

“He talks about me? What does he say?”

“Not much, I… I always have classes to go to and shifts to take… I’m hardly home and I hate it… It’s nice to know someone is there for my son when I can’t, so thank you.” Connor awkwardly patted her on the back. He didn’t know what to say really. Evan’s mom seemed like a nice person, obviously overworked, stressed, tired, but happy. She really does care for him. He wishes he had a mom like that…

Heidi led them to the waiting area and motioned for him to sit in one of the chairs. “So Connor… Fill me in on you and Evan’s wacky adventures so far.”

“What do you mean wacky? We don’t do anything weird. I’m not weird.”

“Didn’t say you were. Isn’t that what the cool kids say? Wacky? Cool? Bro?”

“Stop.” Heidi laughed. “Just messing with you, but in all seriousness, what have you and Evan been up to?”

“Doesn’t he tell you?” Heidi looked down and put on a sad smile. “I’m rarely home, and everything he tells me is cryptic. I know there’s more to the story, but… He just doesn’t tell me… thanks to that son of a bitch…” Her face became stern again, but she wiped it off with a smile, an obvious fake one. “Well… he went over to my house 2 days ago… roasted Larry. That was like… the best thing ever.”

“My son is talking trash about someone he doesn’t know?”

“Oh no I’m not offended. If anything he deserved it. Trust me, you wouldn’t like him. He’s an a- jerk.”

“Right… And what do you like to do? Any hobbies?”

“No hobbies. Larry made me ditch most of the stuff I liked to do. Says it wasn’t normal. So I guess my hobbies now is getting wasted and being a disappointment.”

“What did you used to do?”

“Ice skating. I loved ice skating. I liked how the cold air felt as I twirled in the air. The ice always looked pretty when I skated. Like if none of my bullshit mattered, and all that matters is me, the ice, and what I was doing.”

“Larry sounds like a jerk.” Connor nodded with approval. A doctor walks towards them. “Heidi, uh…”

“Friend.” Connor didn’t want them to say Soulmate. Then Ms. Hansen would know and judge him like everyone else does. “Well, his arm went from a stable fracture to multiple comminuted fracture, nothing serious and nothing that will affect him in the future, just that that cast will have to be on him longer. His body is littered in cuts and bruises, nothing you can’t handle, since you work here. The only thing that I’m worried about is that he has a concussion, so you’ll have to keep an eye on him, which I know is a problem with how hard you work… So it’s either he stays here or you take your vacation days off. I’ll talk to your boss to give you more if necessary.”

“I can’t afford to keep him here, but I can’t afford to not come to work! I need this job, I’m barely getting by…”

“I’ll watch him.” Connor stood up. It’s the least he could do. Ms. Hansen didn’t deserve this. Evan didn’t deserve this. He’s going to help his soulmate get better even if it hurts him. “You can’t do that, what about school?” Heidi protested. “I’d be doing my school a favor. Plus I don’t really care.”

“You should care!”

“Well you can’t make me care!” Heidi pursed her lips. “Fine… but Evan here is going to tutor you when he’s not concussed!”

“Fine by me.” Heidi looked at him in the eyes and sighed. “Well that’s one solution. Now, you can go see your son, if he doesn’t wake up then press the red button, and if he does, try not to make a huge commotion, it might confuse him.”

“Gosh darn it, I work here!”

“Just making sure. Room 203” The Doctor walks away to do what Connor assumes as doctor-ish things. Heidi walked through the halls, Connor following right behind her. They finally find room 203, Heidi immediately going inside. Connor sighed when he saw Evan sleeping peacefully in a hospital gown. He had a new cast and bandages on his other arm. Connor kneeled down besides him and took ahold of his good hand. He squeezed it lightly.

Maybe Evan could feel the contact, maybe he can’t. He just wants Evan to know that he’s here for him, as a soulmate. He’s going to protect him… and kill Eliot… but for now, his attention was on Evan and only Evan.


	12. Chapter 12

When Evan finally came through, the first thing he sees is Connor Murphy, sleeping on his lap. Evan blushed and turned away. He felt Connor jolt up off of Evan. “E-Evan? You’re awake?! Oh thank god!” He turned to see Connor’s worried eyes. He looked so vulnerable, weak, fragile. “I’m fine…” He winced at how weak he sounded. His voice was horace and scratchy. “Obviously not! You’re in the hospital Evan! On a bed! With Bandages, a cast, and a mother fucking concussion!” Evan looks down at his arm. He still had the same white blank cast on his arm. The word hospital echoed through his head.

If he was in a hospital, then that costed money. His Mom would have to pay for it. Evan’s breath quickens. She can’t pay for this, she already paid for his arm before! And a concussion?! It would’ve been better if the guy killed him! “Evan come back to me! Come on, snap out of it!” Connor held onto his good arm and squeezed it. “You gotta breathe. Come on in and out… God I suck at this…” Connor slowed his breathing and Evan tried to follow in his example. After what felt like hours, his breath evened out.

“Mom…” Evan choked out. “You want your mom? She’s working, but she said to call her in if anything so…”

“Cost…”

“Evan. You… you’re injured. And the first thing you think of is, the cost? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Can’t afford this… gotta leave…”

“Jesus Christ Evan, Do you not want to get better?! Stop caring about others and start caring about you!” Evan bit his lip. The cost would be… large numbers. He can’t think about what number, but numbers. Evan sighed and picked at his cast, the newer one. “What… what happened?” He couldn’t remember. Everything is foggy. Thinking hurts. Connor scowled. “Someone beat you up really bad…”

“Oh…” Someone wanted to hurt him? Why? What did Evan Hansen do to anyone? A nobody? The quiet kid in the class? That’s… why? “Why?” He asks. “...Cause the people in this school are assholes, that’s why…”

“Who?” Evan tried to remember, but everything came back in flashes. It was a guy, a jock. Then he felt scared, then pain, then darkness. A head splitting headache made him stop his thought process. “Hey don’t think about it, okay?” Evan shrugged. The doctor came into the room, with his mom in nurse attire. “Oh Evan!” She rushed to his side. She was crying and was obviously worried, as much as she tried to hide it. “Hi Mom…” She cupped his face and gave a cryptic look. Connor pulled over his hoodie and sinked to a corner.

“Good Afternoon Ms. Hansen, Mr. Hansen.” The doctor said in a calming scary tone. “Well, we had a MRA scan and you have a concussion. Your arm isn’t one stable fracture into Multiple commutied fractures, but it’ll heal. You’ll have to stay here though, knowing Ms Hansen and her work habits…”

“I’m watching over him.” Connor steps into the conversation. “But you’re-“

“Homeschooled.”

“Oh…” The Doctor stayed silent for a moment, recollecting his thoughts. “Well you can leave today then. As long as someone keeps an eye on him and wake him up every couple of hours to make sure he can wake up normally. And don’t get his cast wet in any way, and let him avoid any activity that involves critical thinking, like reading, watching T.V, homework, or anything that causes stress. For headaches use over the counter headaches, and come back in a week.”

Evan smiled to himself. He’ll be able to leave this hospital for good. He attempted to get up, his body aching with protest. He gritted his teeth and stood up. He limped towards the door. Connor grabbed one of his arms and wrapped it around his shoulder. “I don’t n-need help Connor…” He mumbled. “Says the man littered in bruises and cuts.”

“If I could walk away from falling off of a 60 feet tree, I c-can walk off a few bruises.”

“What are you, immortal?”

“M-Maybe…”

They walked out the hospital together. His Mom stops by the entrance. “I’ll drive you to my house so Evan can rest, but I have to-“

“Get back to work?” Evan cuts her off. “It’s fine mom. I’ll be fine. Never get tired from pizza. D-Delicious.”

“Also I can drive. I have my drivers license.” Connor adds. His Mom passes Connor the keys and kissed Evan on the head. “I’m sorry hon…” Emotion fled into her voice, that made Evan’s eyes water. He nodded and motioned Connor to go into the car. His mother left, he sat in the car, and Connor sat in the front seat. The drive was slow, Connor made slow turns, and followed the speed limit. “She cares about you, you know.” Connor says. “I know…”

“She wants to be home more.”

“I know…”

“You aren’t angry at her, are you?”

“Why would I be? She’s my mom. It’s not her fault that I made her have to work this hard… I wish we were rich. I wish she’d get a high paying job. She wants to be a lawyer, always did. My father disliked that… but he didn’t budge. He was rich. He provided for us… yet I…” Tears welled up in Evan’s eyes. “ _Don’t._ If you don’t want to say anything, then don’t say anything at all.” Evan nodded. The car ride was silent the rest of the way. They pulled up to Evan’s house. Connor helped him out the car. Evan fumbled for his keys and opened the door.

He was relieved to be home. He immediately took a seat on the couch, closing his eyes. A nap would do him good right now. He can deal with everything tomorrow.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for eating problems with Evan

_ He was standing on a tree branch. The ground was dark and empty. Everything was cold. He looks down at the empty void space. It feels like it’s swallowing him whole. Then he’s falling. Why did he jump? The ground was waiting for him to fall. He was going to die. Why did he jump? Why why why why why-  _

 

A sharp jolt makes Evan shot up. He grabs his chest with his arm, which happened to be his bad arm, which is why it hurt so much when he moved it. His head was pounding and everything just hurt. “Easy Evan.” He focuses his vision to the person in front of him. Connor. “Wha- what are you doing at m-my house?” Connor taps a finger on his head. He was having trouble remembering what would that mean. Concussion. The word hit him.

 

He has a concussion. And Connor was watching over him, right? “Oh r-right, sorry…”

 

“Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do. It’s fine.”

 

“S-sh-shouldn’t you be a-at school?” Connor shrugs. “What about your parents?”

 

“You think they’d care?”

 

“Y-Your mom does.”

 

“...Yeah well if I’m by your house it’ll be okay.” Evan sighs and lays back down on the couch. Evan was hungry, but he didn't want Connor to go through the trouble of ordering food, or making food. Not like there’s things in the house to make food. His stomach expressed it’s hunger though, letting out a loud grumble. Connor seemed to take notice of it and reached for the phone. “Wait don’t order!”

 

“Why not?”

 

“B-Because…”

 

“I’m ordering.”

 

“Y-y-you’re wasting your money!”

 

“Your mom gave me some.” He holds up two 20s. “You’re wasting my mom’s money!”

 

“She gave this money so that we can get something to eat!”

 

“I don’t want to eat!”

 

“You’re lying.”

 

“I JUST DONT! I JUST- I just don’t… Give me the 40…”

 

“No.” Evan picked at his cast. Connor continued to order food. Evan doesn’t talk much after his outburst. How could he? He just yelled at his soulmate for ordering food! What if Connor was hungry?! Stupid stupid stupid… His head throbbed and ached. “Do you do that often?” Connor asks. “I uh.. what?”

 

“Refuse food because of money?”

 

“I-I guess. If I’m by Jared’s house I’ll just take some of his snacks… I-I don’t like ordering food… My mom needs the money more than me anyway… You- You’d be surprised how long I can go without f-food.” 

 

“That’s  _ unhealthy. _ ”

 

“I’m perfectly fine! I eat when I can…”

 

“That’s not enough.”

 

“I’m alive, relax.”

 

“I will  _ not  _ relax. You’re my soulmate. I need you to be healthy and well. Not… not concussed or fractured or near starving.”

 

“You called me your soulmate again.”

 

“Yeah? Well I meant what I said. We may not be in a relationship, but that doesn't mean you could hurt yourself like that.”

 

“I-I don’t know why you’re so worried…”

 

“Because you’re like a friend to me! And you’re my soulmate!”

 

Evan looks down. “You… considered me a friend…”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?”

 

“I never really had a friend…”

 

“What about Jared?”

 

“He’s only a  _ family friend.  _ He likes to remind me of that too…”

 

“Jared Kleinman is an ass.” Evan didn’t answer him. He wasn’t a jerk all the time… Which was the 1% he isn't a jerk. The doorbell rang. Evan shyed into a corner of the couch. Connor went to answer the door, and came back with two boxes of pizza. “Why’d you get two?”

 

“I like pineapple pizza, sue me.”

 

“I can tolerate pineapple pizza.” Connor shrugged. He put the two boxes on the table. “Eat at least four slices.” Connor holds a box out to Evan. “A-And what I-If I don’t?”

 

“Something.”

 

“Something?”

 

“Something. And you won’t like that something, so start eating.” Evan took a slice. In all honesty, he just doesn't like eating. It cost money. And they need money. So he doesn’t eat a lot so his mom could pursue her dream. His body adapted to the low intake of food. He eats less, and gets full a lot quicker. He used to think that was bad, but now it just  _ was.  _ Like it was supposed to be that way. 

 

He slowly chews the pizza slice in his mouth. The pizza felt foreign there, the taste bland and revolting. He knows the pizza isn’t terrible, it’s just him being stupid. He was full after the first slice. He remembers what Connor said to him about at least four. Four was too much. He’ll burst with four. He looks at Connor’s box of pizza. He’s halfway done. Crap. Evan looks down at the slice. He doesn't want to eat this… he can eat it later or something… “C-C-Connor?”

 

Connor looks up with a pizza slice in his mouth. “N-never mind…”

 

“Nope.” He says with his mouth full. Connor swallowed the bits of food in his mouth. “Spit it out. What were you going to say?”

 

“...I-I’m really tired you know, I’m concussed, everything’s dizzy, and I want to go back to sleep.” Most of that wasn’t a lie. He  _ was  _ tired and dizzy. “You’re still eating that pizza slice.”

 

“I’m full.” 

 

“Evan…”

 

“What are you going to do about it? Yell at me? Tell me it’s unhealthy?! You- You don’t think I know that?! Just… I’m full, okay? I ate some. That’s all I need. It’s all I need…”

 

“Evan-“

 

“Don’t  _ Evan  _ me. I’m fine Connor!”

 

Connor pulls Evan into his chest. “I’m worried for you. Don’t want you hurt. Care about you too much. You’re hurting me Evan. Hurts me to see you hurt.” Connor held onto him tightly. Evan slowly returned the hug, listening to Connor ramble sweet and encouraging words to him. Evan knows this is the soulmate part of him talking, but it still felt nice. As if he was actually cared for. “You gotta tell someone about this.”

 

“The therapist would tell my mom. Anything that makes me a threat to myself.”

 

“You should still tell them.”

 

“If I didn’t tell her I jumped out of a tree, why would I tell her about me not eating properly.”

 

“You  _ what? _ ” Shit… he let it spilled out. Connor… he’ll hate him, or disgusted, or angry. He doesn’t want Connor upset with him. Not after the short nice moment they had… Evan tried to pull away from Connor’s hold, but it was no use. “ _ Evan… _ ” He says with meaning behind it. Connor pulls Evan to the couch, guiding him to sit next to Connor. Connor puts a hand around neck and pulls him closer to him. This is his soulmate side, he knows this. Evan felt a wave of exhaustion hit him.

 

He’ll just… close his eyes for a while. Yeah…

 

  
The rumors spread pretty quickly. Evan Hansen gets his ass handled by John Mason, then Connor Murphy comes in and yells at the crowd surrounding Evan. People said that Evan was Connor’s slut, that Connor was paying to be friends with him, that Connor  _ liked  _ him. He pulled off all the post-its from both Connor’s and Evan’s things. Their lockers, their desks, even their materials. He hopes the rumors die down soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who’s that secret person at the end?


	14. Chapter 14

Heidi arrived home in the middle of the night. It was a long day at work, and all she wanted to do is talk to Connor and see if her son was okay. Damn that bastard… whoever beat up her poor baby. As if he hasn’t been through enough already...When Ms. Hansen came in, shello was quick to notice Connor. There were dark bags under his eyes, he looked almost emotionless. Evan was sleeping in his arms, which were shaking. His whole body was shaking now that she thinked about it. 

 

“Connor, are you okay? You look terrible!” Connor didn’t answer her, just slowly turned his head to her direction. “What happened?” No answer. “Do you want to talk about it?” No answer. “...Did your soulmate die?” Connor clutched onto Evan tightly, his shaking increased dramatically. “ _ My soulmate is not dead.”  _ He spat out. “He’s right here… right here with me… where he’ll stay… go away, leave us be…” 

 

She had to replay that sentence over and over again. Connor was Evan’s soulmate?! Soulmates are such rare things to see, finding a soulmate even rarer. And here was Evan’s. Her soulmate died when she was starting middle school. It was such a long time ago she forgot about it. “You and Evan are soulmates?” 

 

Connor doesn’t answer and continues to hold Evan. “Oh my god…” She runs her hands through her hair. “My son’s soulmate…” She mumbles under her breath. “What happened?”

 

“Evan… he… h-he jumped out of a tree… he doesn’t eat properly.. I’m scared… so scared…” Connor shivers more, his voice all broken. “Can you put him in his bed?” Connor posessivly held Evan closer to him. “That’s a no… uh… lay down with him?”

 

“That’s creepy…” Well at least he has enough brain left to know that, and the inconveniences that come with that. “Evan can’t stay there you know… His back and arm is going to hurt.”

 

“I  _ know. _ ” 

 

“Are you going to put him anywhere more comfortable?”

 

“...”

 

“Come on Connor… I know you feel as if you’ll lose him, but you won’t. Why don’t we move him to his room, and talk there?” Connor took a minute, then nodded. He lifted Evan up like he weighed nothing. How strong was Connor? He did use to ice skate, if she does remember… He has to be a bit athletic… They went up stairs, and placed Evan on his bed. Connor tucked him in, leaning in to his forehead, pausing, then awkwardly holding Evan’s good arm. “You ready to talk Connor?”

 

“I guess…”

 

“Okay… Let’s start with you. are you okay?”

 

“I’m never okay.”

 

“Well how about now?”

 

“I feel… I… scared…”

 

“Scared of what?”

 

“Scared that… that Evan will slip through my fingers… that he’ll leave me. One way or another. That he’ll hate me. Before I met him… I didn’t have anyone… my family hates me… Evan was the only person could talk to… though we only knew each other for a short while…” Connor’s tough layer melted into this broken person. This side of Connor was sad, fearful, anxious. As if something bad were to happen at any second. “Hey, Evan isn’t going anywhere. Not if we have something to do with it. You’re his soulmate Connor. A strong one at that. You two must be there for each other. There’ll be arguments, and problems, but you two can face them together. Just know that when any of you need help, I’m right here, okay?”

 

Connor stayed quiet for a while. “You’re a good mom…” He whispers. “I try to be. I mean, after Evan’s father left, I haven’t had time to do anything with Evan.. I’m barely in his life anymore… But, I’ll continue to support and care for Evan. Work or no work!” Connor shrugs. Heidi never really understood a shrug from teenagers. A simple move from the shoulder could mean a thousand things, besides the basic I don’t know. At least she can see the face change as they say I don’t know…

 

“Is your mom not a good mom?”

 

“That’s enough about my life… I already said enough…”

 

“You sure-“

 

“I said  _ enough. _ ” He hissed at her. She saw from the hospital that Connor had a bit of a temper. From what she can see now from Connor, he’s a broken kid. His father is a douche, his mother is an unknown quality, and his home life has something to do with the way he is now. He’s like Evan with dealing with his problems. He doesn’t tell people about them. He holds them in until they blow. Heidi was going to make her house the best safe haven for Connor, if she had anything to do with it.

 

“Just know you can come here anytime you please.”

 

“Shut up. I don’t need your help. Just… Just go away! Leave us alone!” Connor raised his voice. “I’ll leave you two be… I have an air mattress if you want. Want me to-“

  
“ _ Leave!”  _ Evan stirs in his sleep. Connor takes a breath and huddles in on himself. “An air mattress would be alright…” He says quietly. Heidi leaves the door slightly cracked as she runs to get an air mattress. She comes back to see Connor shaking again. “Connor? Are you okay?” Connor doesn’t answer. “You want me to set up the air mattress, or you’ll do it?” Again, no answer. “I’ll set it up for you, okay? We can talk more in the morning.” Before she left, Connor says for the second time, “You really are… a good mom.”


	15. Chapter 15

Evan wakes up in his bed, only to be told “I told her.” From someone. An oncoming headache racked his head. “What?”

 

“I. Told. Her.” His brain recognizes that voice. Connor. “Who?”

 

“Your mom. About us… about you…”

 

“What?” Then it clicked. Everything he told Connor yesterday. The fact that they were soulmates.  _ Soulmates.  _ “Is she her-“

 

“Yes.”  _ God.  _ He’s so screwed. His mom hates him now… now she knows how much of a mistake he is. How much of a problem he is. Now she’s always worrying for him. She doesn’t need to worry for him. She doesn’t. He looks at Connor, ready to yell at him, but the anger soon melts away. Connor looked scared, frightened. His hands gripped at his hair. He wasn’t even looking at Evan. He remembers being Connor’s soulmate. He remembers what he blurted out about himself. 

 

He’s a bad son, a bad friend, now a bad soulmate. “I’m so sorry…” He cried out. Connor immediately gets up and hugs Evan. “It’s not your fault. Don’t feel sorry… Don’t feel sorry. You’re okay Evan… You’re okay…” He repeated like a mantra. God he’s such a mess. “Connor-“

 

“Don’t talk.” Evan shut his mouth, and let Connor cradle him, and say sweet things into his ear. “Connor?”

 

“It’ll be alright Evan.”

 

“Connor.”

 

“I’m gonna make it all better, I promise.”

 

“ _ Connor.  _ I want to go to clean myself up… Please?” Connor hesitated, then let go of Evan. Evan got up and walked to the bathroom, Connor lingering behind him. “C-can I use the b-bathroom?” Connor huffs, and sits on the bed. He splashes water on his face. He looks up and sees how much of a fucking mess he was. His eyes were red, streaks of tears fell down his face, his hair was a mess, and there was still that stupid blue cast on his arm. Evan took a shower. When he opened the bedroom door, he saw Connor, looking right at him. Evan blushed, wrapping the towel tightly around him. “Can I get dress?” No response. “Connor, can you go outside?” Connor makes a guilty face. “ _ Please? _ ” He sighs, and reluctantly makes his way to the door.

 

He gives Evan one last look, then leaves. He quickly gets dressed and opens his bedroom door, only to be stopped for some reason. He looks down, and Connor is sleeping in front of the door. “Connor?” Connor shoots up, raising a fist at Evan. “Shit… Sorry…” He mumbled. Connor moved out the way. “Are you okay?”

 

“Y-yeah. I just… didn’t sleep ‘s all…”

 

“No, that’s not it.”

 

“I’m fine Ev.” Connor gives Evan a warm smile, a fake one. Evan sighed and made his way downstairs, with Connor following him like a puppy. To his luck, his mom happened to be downstairs making breakfast. “Good morning Evan, Connor.” Evan stammered a good morning while Connor just grunted. “Would you two like some breakfast?” Evan shook his head. Connor squeezed his shoulders. “You gotta eat Ev.”

 

“I don’t feel like eating, I’ll eat later.”

 

“Ev please, for me, you have to eat. At least something, please? For your mom, for me. Please…” Evan looked over to his mom, who was just as worried as Connor was. “Okay.” Evan sat down at their small table in the corner of the kitchen, and poked at his plate. Connor grabbed his spoon and held it up to his face. “Eat.”

 

“C-C-C-Connor?” Evan’s face flushed up. “N-n-not I-in fro-front of my mom…” He whispered, though the spoon didn’t move from his mouth. Evan sighed, and let Connor feed him, much to his dislike and embarrassment. Halfway through the plate, Evan felt like he couldn’t eat anymore. “Connor I’m full.”

 

“Can you get a little more in Ev?” He looked down at the plate that was filled with food. Evan shook his head. “You did good Evie, you ate so much, I’m so proud of you… You did good.”

 

“E-Evie?!”

 

“Evie. Ev. Evan. Sorry…”

 

“N-no, it’s fine…” Evan felt like he bursted a vessel in his face. “So Evan,” His mom starts. “You two are soulmates?”

 

“Uh… Y-Yeah…”

 

“When did you think I’m telling me this?”

 

“I uh… d-didn’t know how you’d react? I-I-I mean… Since…”

 

“Since he’s a guy? Evan I could give two shits about that.”

 

“Oh… uh… thanks…” Connor scooted closer to him, wrapping his hand with his. He could see Connor glaring at his mother. “C-Connor? Are you okay?” No answer. Evan sighed. “Hey Connor? Can me and Evan talk for a bit… alone?” Connor shook his head. “Come on Connor… Please?” Evan joined in. Connor huffed, and exited the kitchen. “He’s only trying to be a good soulmate… things like this makes soulmates go crazy…”

 

“I know…” A pause. “Evan… why didn’t you tell me about everything? Why keep it from me?” Evan didn’t answer her. “Evan, I’ll do anything and everything in my power to keep you happy. I love you. You’re my life, Evan and it hurts me to see you like this.”

 

“I...I’m sorry… I’m s-such a… such a terrible son…”

 

“Evan James Hansen, don’t you  _ dare  _ say that. You’re a wonderful person. My handsome and kind hearted son. You were  _ never  _ terrible.” Tears welled up in Evan’s eyes. “But-

  
“But nothing. Now come here and let me give you a hug.” Evan didn’t need to be told twice. He sobbed into his Mom’s shoulder, accepting all the love and care she had to offer. After a while, his Mom speaks again. “Come on, you have a worried Soulmate in the living room. I wouldn’t keep him waiting,  _ Evie. _ ” Evan’s face flushed up, and he scurried off to the living room.


End file.
